[gocubsgo]

On the way to Ocala we pass 2 billboards advertising simple divorce, no attorneys, $199. That's why there are so many divorces. It's too easy to get one.

[cgalloway6]

Did the study list if it was the first, second, third or more? Some folks just can't stay in a relationship but continue to get married, divorced, married, divorced. A larger chunk of the population is now over 50 so the behavior continues.

[mainlander]

Like most things, we can rarely break them down to a couple of black and white issues, in my opinion. A couple of factors that come to mind are related to "values" and "statistics". For some, their marriage was built on a base of respect, duty, obligation and sacrifice. Having outlasted most reasons for some of these values, (raising children, paying a mortgage, career concentration, etc, etc.) perhaps the "values" do not seem to be the same now. "Statistically" we are told we may have another 20++ years ahead of us so as "values" change the partner/s may look inward and feel they would like to concentrate more on personal fulfillment and personal satisfaction and believe they can attain this alone... perhaps,, just my 2 cents. Personally I believe that couples who share a very intimate relationship have little reason to look elsewhere or decide that a change is at least as good as what they have. Hope I am not stepping on anyone's toes.

[JP]

Originally Posted by PammyJ

Too easy to get divorced and socially acceptable, almost expected. Commitment and ability to persevere through the hard times are really important.

Spot on and such a shame. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons but I think a lot of people think the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence and frequently it just turns out to be a lawn full of weeds with a bunch of burned out and bare patches of grass.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by cgalloway6

Did the study list if it was the first, second, third or more? Some folks just can't stay in a relationship but continue to get married, divorced, married, divorced. A larger chunk of the population is now over 50 so the behavior continues.

The study did mention that women who have been through a previous divorce are more likely to seek another divorce. I have many friends who have been married more than once. Possibly because I know a lot of "career women". I have a few friends who are in long-term marriages. They are regarded with awe and respect by the rest of us.

Some enterprising soul should do a survey on this website, as to how often people have been married and/or divorced.

[DougB]

Originally Posted by Golfingnut

Women are finding out what jerks we men are

My wife knew what a jerk I was and married me anyway.

[T-325]

My marriage is my most important investment...ever. Takes time, effort and thoughtfullness. But what a great life...

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by Barefoot

The study did mention that women who have been through a previous divorce are more likely to seek another divorce. I have many friends who have been married more than once. Possibly because I know a lot of "career women". I have a few friends who are in long-term marriages. They are regarded with awe and respect by the rest of us. Some enterprising soul should do a survey on this website, as to how often people have been married and/or divorced.

Being a Career Woman is very hard on a marriage, but you cannot educate a woman and then tell her to sit home and raise children like a good little girl. I backed my husband all the way when he was climbing the ladder and I expected the same from him when it was my turn. It was a lot more difficult for him to take on the mantle of "Mr. Madelaine Aimee" than it was for me to become "Mrs. Other Half" because I had been at home for years when the children needed me to be there. We managed to make it work, but we had many times when it was touch and go. He traveled from Sunday evening until the following Friday for years; when I was promoted into a position requiring travel he thought the end of the world was coming, but we made it work - kicking and screaming, but we made it work.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

Being a Career Woman is very hard on a marriage, but you cannot educate a woman and then tell her to sit home and raise children like a good little girl. I backed my husband all the way when he was climbing the ladder and I expected the same from him when it was my turn. It was a lot more difficult for him to take on the mantle of "Mr. Madelaine Aimee" than it was for me to become "Mrs. Other Half" because I had been at home for years when the children needed me to be there. We managed to make it work, but we had many times when it was touch and go. He traveled from Sunday evening until the following Friday for years; when I was promoted into a position requiring travel he thought the end of the world was coming, but we made it work - kicking and screaming, but we made it work.

I understand and truly am glad it worked. Marriage is a growing thing and Sweetie has been married to several women...all ME and I have been married to several men, all HIM. We ALL grow and change and hope that both can celebrate the changes. Not an easy thing sometime. I am so proud of the man he is, he was, he dreamed to be.

I too stayed and ran the house in the early years when he was flying all around. I taught school and then had another career in business in my later years. I think my early persona was softer and the older one more savvy. But he still smiles at me.

[asianthree]

i am a one and done...

[billethkid]

all the statistics show is that 20 years later more of the new generation thinking/allowing/permitting/values/what ever is staring to show.

I am not saying good/bad/or indifferent......just a reflection of change in attitudes and life styles.....nothing more....nothing less.

btk

[manaboutown]

An older attorney I know does a lot of estate planning work. What he told me is he has married couples in their mid seventies to nineties come in wanting estate plans created or modified. Their concern is that their money will end up in the hands of their adult children's spouses because they do not trust that their adult children will remain married. Many of these elderly couples can't stand each other. They speak to each other only as necessary, sleep in separate bedrooms, live in different sections of their houses or in separate houses - yet they remain married. They do realize their children are not the same. They will divorce and move on rather than suffer for years and years through miserable marriages.

It seems to me it is a matter of values and what is important to a person. Of course if a person is happily married no problem - and congratulations!. But if one is not, should one remain in an unhappy, difficult or even abusive marriage or should one untie the knot and move on to a hopefully happier life?

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

You know, I hate to agree with this post, but there are so many women I have known whose marriages have broken down due to the selfishness of the spouse; i.e. going out when there are young children to be cared for, going golfing every weekend when the children are young, going out with the guys, staying too long at the golf club and coming home in the bag - and on and on.

The marriage has survived until the children are grown and the woman goes back to work, then it is irretrievably broken and they just drift apart.

I am one of the lucky ones, have a great guy and I intend to keep him whether he likes it or not.

Years ago women would tolerate almost anything men could dish out. Not so much any more. In MY opinion, most divorces are due to a man doing something stupid.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by gocubsgo

On the way to Ocala we pass 2 billboards advertising simple divorce, no attorneys, $199. That's why there are so many divorces. It's too easy to get one.

It should be even easier, if you have to constantly have to work at it, you do not have a loving relationship.

[Duvalboomer]

Originally Posted by Golfingnut

Years ago women would tolerate almost anything men could dish out. Not so much any more. In MY opinion, most divorces are due to a man doing something stupid.

I don't know about that, I've seen plenty of women and men do things that were stupid.